[ENG] A Brief Word About Friendship
True and False Friendships
Let's start with aforementioned true and false friendships. True are... Rare. Very rare I would say. It's a type of friendship that stays for a really long time, you can know someone for few years and at the same time you feel like you have known them for your whole life. Sometimes you start feeling like family with them, even more than your own, blood-related family (which is both beautiful and tragic, I think I don't have to explain why). It's this type of friendship where you can write/tell practically anything anytime and get help whenever you need one. It's a special bond you feel with that certain person, it's something like love but not exactly that.
False friendships are brutal. Like, someone pretends that he/she's your friend, wishes you the best and all, but in reality they talk behind your back, secretly try to ruin your plans and deep down hate you for some reason. Or... For no reason, some people just like watching others fail and their world crumbling to dust (Okay, I got a bit dramatic here but you know what I mean)
I think you will experience many false friendships during your life and -hopefully- you will find those shining stars of true friendship in the darkness
Distant/Online Friendships
Thanks to the rapid spread of the internet we all have much more ways to find friends - online chats and chatrooms, multiplayer games and communities - these are only few ways of meeting new people. There are many pros and cons of such friendships, but the biggest pro in this way of meeting people is that we can easily get along with; people who have the same or very similar hobbies and interests as we do. But at the same time there is one huge con - distance. People are often separated by hundreds of kilometers within the same country; sometimes they live in another country! I have met many friends through the internet, with some of them I still have strong, good relations for a few years. I've met some of them only once in those 5-6 years. And it was the most beautiful and emotional meeting I have ever had. With some of them I still haven't met in real life, but with one or two I've met 3 times by now... But it doesn't change the fact, that distance is often painful as you can't really go to that certain friend and cry on his/her shoulder. Despite it all, I still believe that those friendships are the best (for many years my only friends were those online ones so... keep that in mind) In the last few months I have met some people while playing certain online game called League of Legends. Though often these friendships quickly die due to my shyness and overthinking.
Broken and Lost Friendships
Now we shall move to... Much sadder part of friendships. As I said, I have had many friends but throughout the years (often due to my own fault...) I have lost many of them. With the term 'broken' I call friendships that I... I feel like I fucked up to the point of no return. And despite being in only very few broken friendships... I hate myself and I feel immense pain after every single one of them. Because they were often caused (unwillingly) by myself. One broken friendship has...15 months. It's over a year and I still think about. I still think what could I do about it... Lost friendships are... Sad, but 'recoverable' - with many friends I meet only once or twice a year (despite living in the same town). Some of the friends were lost over time - I have known a guy for 10 years by now, but for 2 years... We barely talk and we don't meet anymore. It's not like we're angry on ourselves or something. It's just passage of time and situations in life kind of forced it upon us. There are school friendships that often end after the school ends but... It's somewhat normal, people come and go after all, but... When you personally meet someone, treat this friendship is like a flower - it beautifully blooms and THEN YOU CUT THE FLOWER DOWN - IT'S NOT GOOD. (I am looking at myself)
Losing a good, long-time friend is one of the most painful, emotionally wrecking thing one can experience in their lifetime...
Renewed Friendships
You can treat this paragraph as a continuation of a previous one. Some of the friendships, after long stasis may experience rebirth, they can get suddenly renewed. I have one friend that's in college and we rarely talk, but when we do... We kind of forget that 2, 3 or sometimes even 6 months have passed and we just enjoy that we're talking again.
There's a one girl I have known for several years, but we didn't talk for good 3-4 years. During last weeks our contact was renewed, we started talking much more and it's one of the most surprising things that happened to me in this year, and I love it! Back then I didn't think that we would get along... To my surprise, we do - and it's better than I would have imagined!
Sometimes when you get a second chance, you may still fuck up whether you like it or not and... Depending on person, there is a possibility you will get a third chance, another one to try and rebuild and renew whatever was destroyed between you two, but... Sometimes you don't. Then you have to live with the consequences of your words or actions and live with the feeling that you have lost a long, precious friendship...
Unexpected Friendships
Standing next to distant ones, I think this kind of friendship is the most surprising and most pleasant you can have. Just... Like - there was a one guy in elementary school, I really hated him - his behavior, his look, his... Well, back then I don't think there was a thing about him I didn't hate. Fast forward several years. I am with him in high school, we're in the same class and... Who would've thought, we're good buddies now! Where back then I would probably be more eager to punch him than befriend him.
Then there also was another guy in my high school class - I often thought that it would be cool to get along with him, start talking and all but - I was too shy and -dare I say it- afraid to do this, after some time in high school, I started talking with him, and it all started with the very same guy who I hated in elementary school. Imagine my surprise when this guy told me that he also wanted to get along with me and start talking - we both wanted the same, yet no one was brave enough to make the first step.
Sometimes you just randomly talk through the internet to some totally random person and as the days go by, you two start seeing how good you both feel when talking to each other and friendship starts to form.
Friends with Benefits
This is the only type of friendship I have never experienced. Just to put it straight - sometimes I wish I had someone like this, but at the same time I am fully aware that... I get attached to people way too quickly and this kind of friendship wouldn't last long. Why? Well, generally accepted 'rule' about FWBs is that neither of you should get too emotionally attached to each other, especially if the second person isn't interested in you in 'loving' way. (To put it very shortly - it's purely sexual relationship, no emotions, no love etc. I MAY BE WRONG, but I am putting it the way I understand it!)
Despite not being in FWB relationship, I think I can say with certainty that this -next to losing a friend- type of a relationship is probably most emotionally and sexually damaging thing you can willingly put yourself in. In my opinion it takes away the whole magic, emotional bond, slow and romantic build-up before the sexual intercourse.
Friends are incredibly important part of every life. They can help you pick yourself up from the ground, they keep you flying even when your wings were shattered, they help you fight your worst demons that dwell deep within you. Friends also give you the feeling of acceptance, they can also critique you when you start creating something or you're going to do something incredibly dumb. BUT! You shouldn't look for friendship the hard way, like trying with all your will to become friends with someone, by changing who you truly are. I have tried way too many times to befriend someone who wasn't interested in who I am currently. Practically every single person I am in touch today, I have met long time ago (either through internet or in real life), and every single one of them accepted me by who I am and what I do.
Best of luck on your long and twisted journey of life!
Kind Regards,
Wing.
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